I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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