I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
