ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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