What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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