i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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