I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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