he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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