He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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