Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
That accounts for only three of the penises
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
