u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
this hospital has no fireball
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
