absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
