return my video game
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
