How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
