I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
