If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
