We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
