my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
