i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
where does the pee come out of this thing
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
