i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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