The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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