this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
