Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
