this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
