K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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