Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I think i got beer on your cat.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
