You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
