I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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