Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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