he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
