I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I need water and some morals
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
