I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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