you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
