vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
