I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
