How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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