we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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