Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
