Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize