I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I AM VODKA MAN
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
