Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
