Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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