I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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