You're so nebulous sometimes
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
