omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
