Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
