I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
