The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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