When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
