Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
