sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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