Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
